One of the things I feel is often overlooked in the change process, is understanding we need to give up something, to get to where we want to go. People tend to focus on the finish line, without putting much thought into the necessary trade-offs to get there. Think of it as, what do you need to release, to receive?
For example, say you live a relatively unhealthy lifestyle, and have decided to become healthy. There are probably several behaviors that need to be changed to reach a certain level of health. One’s diet, sleep, level of physical activity, and stress levels would probably need to be modified. There is no way around this. However, where people often get stuck, is though they want a healthier lifestyle, they may not be willing to give up those things which challenge it, thus slowing or halting their progress.
This can apply to anything. Not just things related to health and wellness.
If you want to excel to another level and you have friends who discourage your goals. You may need to give them up. If you are working on self-love, and you have a partner who puts you down, you probably need to give them up. You have a project you are working on, but get distracted by social media. You may need to give that up.
So, as you can see, it works with just about all modes of change. It’s fundamental to the process.
However, what never ceases to amaze me, is when people want to change, but fight bitterly to hold onto their current reality. I have sat with countless individuals who with even the slightest suggestion of letting go, is met with fierce resistance. Often in the forms of, why it’d be impossible to do things differently. Essentially, what is happening is, they are telling me they want their environment and experiences to conform to them. In some cases, this may work, but in most, it does not.
If you want to change, you have to become the vision you have of yourself.
What is Change About?
Change is about breaking habits and patterns. Doing something different. Using a different approach. If there is something you would like to experience differently, this is what it comes downs to. What do I need to stop/start doing to get a different result? How do you start embracing the new you? You have to think from the end. It’s like faking it till you make it, but you aren’t faking it, you’re practicing. Practicing for who you are becoming. How does the new you think? What are your new habits and routines?
I recall, looking at pictures of myself and not liking what I saw. I knew I had put on some weight, but there is something about seeing a picture and not liking what you see, that can light a fire right underneath you.
Overall, I would say I’m pretty health-conscious. For the most part, I try to make healthy food choices, exercise is a regular part of my routine, and I am very mindful of stress. However, my body type leaves very little leeway, where my weight is concerned. I am not one of those people who can scarf down whatever they want, and it has little impact on their weight. This isn’t helped by the fact that I have a sweet tooth, salty palette, and a love for eating out. There went my chips, ice cream, lunch dates, etc. If I wanted to be successful, I had to give up a lot. Now don’t get me wrong, I can have them on occasion, but not nearly to the extent I could with my younger self. So that was one compromise.
Next, I had to give up late nights and sleeping in to get to the gym first thing in the morning. It’s been a long road, but I can say that I feel much better in my body and within it. Though it has been tough, and sometimes tempting, it’s all been worth the sacrifice.
What May You Need to Give Up?
Now think about what it is that you want to experience. Consider what you may have to give up to get it. Are the costs going to be worth it? Can you see your future self, and be willing to work towards it? I think this is the secret ingredient to change. Being comfortable with the sacrifices which may need to be made, and understanding what they can bring to you. Embracing the new you, and the new way of being. Don’t look at things in terms of what you need to give up, but what you will be gaining in the long run.
If there are changes you are trying to make, and feel you need some help with. Check out our resource’s library, or reach out to see if working together is what you need!
