This is the space, for those of you who appreciate a little tough love! Buckle your seatbelt, because I’m about to administer a dose. Well, not so much tough, but a loving truth. 😊
One of the things I’ve learned, is that old saying “talk is cheap”, is very true. We can discuss, analyze, postulate, and churn on our problems. We may, understand every angle, recognize all viewpoints, literally becoming experts on what brings us dissatisfaction and disappointment. Ultimately believing that, by putting in all this effort, and gaining so much understanding, we’ve made an actual change.
I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Yes, talking feels good; but it isn’t enough. You can buy all the sessions, programs, books, or watch all the videos; but if you aren’t following through with new behaviors, change will remain elusive.
I’ve had to have “the talk” with clients, where we identify how their tricking themselves into thinking they are doing enough. They typically show up consistently, participate well; however once the session is over, they simply slip right back into their everyday life, and don’t give things much thought until it’s time for our next session. Now don’t get me wrong, seeking help is a brave step, a big step indeed, but if you don’t fully embrace the process, it’s only half a step.
I know what it’s like. Being on what seems like a never-ending quest of change. Reading book after book, trying to keep up with the latest thought leader, feeling like if I understand, then that was enough. However, I’ve learned that is really just the first step. Over the years I’ve come to realize that there are 4 main steps to experience change.
Identify Your Goal
What are you looking to change? Even more importantly, why do you want to change? Sometimes it can feel as if something is amiss. We aren’t quite sure what it is, but we know we want to make some shifts to get rid of that feeling; so we embark on a journey of transformation. However, though we are moving, we aren’t quite sure exactly where we are going. Essentially, we are on a path with an unclear destination. Get clear on your goal. When you know what you are working towards not only will you know where you are going, but you will be able to stay motivated because you’ll have a clear “why”.
Come up with a Plan
Now that you know what your goal is, the next step is to develop a plan of execution. How are you going to achieve your goal? What are the steps needed to get you closer to where you would like to be? Think about all the things you need to do differently, and start to identify the ways in which you will do it. The more steps you think of, the better. Mapping them out step by step, so you have a clear trail. When we know what to do, it’s easier for us to do it. Rather then endlessly spinning our wheels.
Identify Your Barriers
What are the things which tend to get in your way? As already stated, any type of change can be hard. If it was easy, then everyone would be doing it. That’s why preparing for the inevitable speed bumps is essential. It can be so frustrating to try to better yourself, only to be hit by a curve ball. Making it feel easier to just give up. So prepare for these moments. If they don’t show up great, if they do, you’ll now be ready and more equipped to handle and navigate them. Don’t just focus on the easy aspects of change, the baby steps; start to get your head around the tough times, and prepare for them.
Execute the Plan
Now this is the final piece of the puzzle, and probably the most important one. EXECUTE THE PLAN!!!!! After you’ve prepared for change, it’s now time to turn things into a verb. We need some serious action here! It seems pretty obvious, but this is the place where a lot of people get stuck. Laying the ground work, but not seeing things through. If you don’t act on your plan, your goal will simply remain a desire. You’ve gotta get in touch with your inner RiRi, and work, work, work, work, work! There is no way around this. It may be tough at times, but remember why you are doing what you are doing.
So now you know the steps to make change, what are you ready to do?
It all seems simple enough, but I am well aware that embarking on anything new can be hard to do. This is why I strongly suggest, you seek support if you run into major roadblocks or troubles. Whether it’s finding an accountability partner, the use of some cool productivity technology, or hiring a coach or therapist, find whatever it takes, to keep pushing forward.
Affirmation to keep Changing
It’s not just the finish line, but the process which gets me there
Every step I take, is one step closer
Challenge
Think of what you are trying to achieve. What needs to change in order to get closer to that goal? What are the steps, no matter how small, you can take to demonstrate action? What are you going to do to keep moving forward? Take a moment to pen this out. Remember it’s not just about the finish line, but the process of getting there. As long as you’re actively working at it, you are making change, and for that I say, way to go!
If you are looking for some tools to get you started, check out our Resource page!
