I enjoy the work I do.
It’s taken me a while to get here, but it feels so good to do what I love while helping so many women in the process.
Loving your job isn’t the case for so many people though, and this is why I don’t take this for granted for a moment.
As I’ve shared in other posts, I am a registered social worker who’s worked in the field for many years. Social Work, by no means, is easy work. We are often working with people when they are not at their best, so the job can take quite a toll after a while. This is why it’s always been important for me to work with populations, I felt I could best serve.
This lead me to change my jobs very often. I would say, every 3-5 years I was in a new full-time position, and always had a couple of part-time jobs I was working at. There was a time, I had four positions at once. Not something I would ever suggest, because burnout is real.
Nothing is worse. then waking up in a panic on Boxing Day, trying to remember where you are supposed to be. I can laugh at it now, but at the time it was not funny. Looking back, I’m not even sure how I got anything done personally.
So why am I sharing this, and what does this have to do with you?
At the time I wasn’t aware of it, but looking back, it now makes sense. In terms of my career, I was what most would call, “figuring it out”. That period in your late 20’s to early ’30s where you are trying to gain some footing in your life. Trying to “figure out” what you want, and how you are going to create it. A place where I feel, so many women get stuck. Because this is often the point, where you’re in battle between what you want, and what you think you should want.
As I reflect on my journey, what I now realize, is I wasn’t really “figuring it out” more than I was trying to understand myself. With every change I made or moved in my career, I was learning more and more about myself. What I liked, disliked, and what I wanted more of. By the time I reached my late 30’s, the thing I had “figured out”, was I couldn’t continue working in spaces that depleted me. I wanted to work with people who wanted to work with me.
Yaaayyy hooray for me! If you’re not going to cheer yourself on, who will 😉
Things became so much easier when I got to this place. I was finally able to experience inner peace. No longer seeking that elusive “thing”, which I couldn’t even name. A lot of people would say I had “figured it out”, however I will challenge this a bit. I don’t think I “figured it out,” I think I actually “felt it out”. I had experienced a number of different things and arrived at my conclusion. Rather than go back and forth in my head, I went with what felt good to me. If I was in a job I didn’t like, I would try another, and another, and another. This is where I think a lot of people get stuck. For most of us, we live a lot of our lives in our thoughts, when in actuality it should reside within our hearts.
We can’t expect to simply think our way to every answer, some of them need to be experienced. I believe this is why this can be such a frustrating process for many, because they are using the wrong tool. We are going by what we “think” is the best decision when we should be focusing on how we feel. If I use my work example, once upon a time I went for jobs based on how much I would be paid, now, if it doesn’t feel good, no price will buy my time. I may date someone who on paper seems good, but if I don’t get a certain “feeling” that’s how I know they aren’t for me. Slight shift in perspective, but one which makes things a lot clearer.
I will never forget the moment when I recognized I was on the right path and had landed in my lane. I was processing with a client around an issue, that I’m pretty sure she had felt below the surface but had never really allowed herself to verbalize and experience. We had been going at it for a bit, digging deeper and deeper, when suddenly she burst into tears. Tears which she explained, weren’t of sorrow, but what she would later reveal was a sense of relief. We had come to a place, where she was ready to heal.
While she shed tears, I was covered in goosebumps.
I remember leaving that session thinking, “That’s it, this is my gift”. I’ve owned it, and since then have had many moments like this, time and time again. Confirming to me, that I am on the right path and I have “felt it out”
So how do you get to this place?
Well, to be honest, it’s going to take some patience, a lot of curiosity, and a dose of courage. However, if you start with the tips below, you can get there sooner than you think. So here are my three tips to getting on the right path:
- Explore your interests
Before any journey, there has to be a starting point. Your interests are a great and ideal place to begin. Think of it as the airport of your life. It’s the hub that can take you to many different places. You just need to choose where it is you want to go.
What are some of the things which excite you or get you fired up? What are the things which bring you joy? You don’t even have to have tried them, an interest can take you many places. I would say, get out and explore your interests. When I was working different jobs, not only was I gaining experience, but I was learning what worked for me.
Now, this doesn’t only apply to a career. This is why we date different people or test-drive different cars. If you are trying to make a decision, the first thing to do is explore your options. Try them on, and see how they feel.
2. Explore what you think you don’t want
Don’t shy away, from the things you “think” you won’t like. In my younger years, I used to be very closed off from things that were new or different. I didn’t have a sense of adventure, I was somewhat stuck in my comfort zone. However, the more I moved away from this way of being, the more opportunities presented themselves, and I learned that there was so much more to enjoy. New experiences, can either identify a new interest, or they can cement what is not for us. However, we are not going to know unless we try. If you are “figuring things out”, allow yourself to consider many possibilities.
3. Be Open
Related to the point above; you’ve got to be open. Not just in action, but also mind. Openness is a mindset. You can try something new, but still not be open to it. Leave behind pre-conceived notions, and truly allow yourself to feel and experience difference. A lot of times we do things, but our mind is not there, it’s performance-driven. It’s almost like that friend who goes on the trip and complains the whole time because it isn’t what they are used to. However, if they were open, they may find there are new experiences that they have. The same things need to be done when you are trying to feel things out. Keep an open mind, and move past “common thinking”
4. Be patient
Oh boy, this is the biggest one I find with women. It could be because of our biology, we often have ourselves on timelines. However, some things can’t be dictated by a clock. Some things need the opportunity to just unfold. This is a process, so it means that it won’t happen overnight. However, it will happen if you allow it. I feel that when you make rash decisions, you end up using more time. Because if it isn’t the right one, you have to reverse and start again. This isn’t bad, because there are no mistakes, but it will take you down a longer path. So be patient and kind to yourself.
In the grand scheme, we have to remember life is not one destination point after another. Part of the joy is the many experiencing along the way. Things become so much easier when we allow ourselves to have many experiences and go with what feels right. If you are feeling stuck, allow yourself to explore how you feel. Then at that point, go with what feels best.
Happy journey!
D
