About 15 years ago, I stumbled upon the practice of meditation. I’m not quite sure how it happened, but I kind of feel that meditation found me. It kind of showed up at the right time. I had recently finished my Masters in Social Work, and for the life of me I couldn’t find a job. With a large student loan debt, and a strong desire to work, needless to say, I was less than peaceful. Now there is one thing I will say about myself, I may not have an income, but I will still make sure to take care of myself. So, what does unemployed Deon do? She schedules a massage. Self care, really isn’t a treat, it’s a way of life.
Within the building, there was group who held weekly meditation classes for free. It was an old industrial building, that used to be a Shoe factory. Though it was quick frankly eerie to go into at times, there was something very peaceful about. I joined the class, and every week I’d take a deep dive into spirituality and meditation with like minded individuals. I have to say, as chaotic as some aspects of my left may have felt, these were some of my most peaceful times.
I did eventually stop attending the classes, however by that time meditation had become a part of my life. I bought guided meditations, read books on different techniques, eventually got into watching videos, and truly embraced the practice. When I bought my house, I even dedicated a room for meditation. Filled with crystals, incense, books, and everything peaceful.
However as much as it had become a part of me, I eventually got a job, life became busy again, and I went back to “being me”. Overworked, stressed, and a lot of times burnt out.
I would still meditate, but it wasn’t with the discipline I once had. I found that instead of it being a practice, it was a tool for coping when I had virtually nothing in my tank. I would attend retreats or events, but nothing was like my initial weekly devotion of meditation. It was as if that time was like a first high, that I was trying to chase.
It’s funny how as much as you think you know something, there is still deeper to go. It took me a long time to realize this about meditation.
I recognized, that though I could be still in the moment, I still hadn’t mastered how to “be” still. I recall a friend visiting me once, and in true Deon fashion I was fluttering around, busying myself with household tasks. He looked right at me, and asked “Dee, do you ever sit down”. While my initial defense was “of course”, the truth was, a resounding “NO!!!”. I was always on, there was always something to do; and if I wasn’t doing it, I was most definitely thinking about doing it.
It wasn’t until COVID hit, that I realized how much I’d fallen back into that pattern. The inability to be still. To experience the moment, and just be. I had become so accustomed of filling every moment of my day, that stillness could at times be foreign to me. To sit and do nothing, was unnatural. To not have my mind constantly churning, had become common place. Which is actually quite backwards when you think about it, because don’t we work hard to obtain the freedom to just be?
I recognized that very often when I am just home “doing nothing”, I’m actually on my own borrowed time. I’m still thinking about and preparing for “that task that really matters”. Watching Netflix, and thinking about how I have to get to the laundry within an hour.
From what I’ve seen, this has become pretty common. We’ve become so far removed from being “off”, we’re actually on when we think we’re not.
So back to meditation. Imagine, you sit for minutes, maybe even hours, clear headed and relaxed. Only to get up and enter back into the noisiness of the world. What I recognized was, I needed to learn how to bring my meditation with me. Not just do it, but embody it. Truly being in the moment. Radiate and walk with an inner peace.
During the pandemic, I’ve worked to reconnect with that inner peace I embodied during my early days of meditation.
Below are 5 tips to “Being Still”
- Develop a meditative practice. Remember, meditation doesn’t have to mean sitting in a dark room with incense burning. Find what works for you. It can be a walking meditation, or engaging in some sort of creative practice. There are so many forms that meditation takes, find the one which resonates with you.
- Make it a practice to disconnect – technology has become so much of what we do. It’s very hard to be in the world without it these days. That is why, we need to become more intentional in disconnecting. Look for ways to just be. Remember, meditation is about connecting with self. How can you make that a practice. Consider going for a walk without your phone, or turning your notifications off at a certain period of time. What are the things you can do to better hear yourself?
- Find your space – Some will suggest creating a sanctuary like my meditation room, is a way to find a peaceful space. However, that doesn’t necessarily need to be. Your space can be outside the confines of your home. Recently I went for a walk on a trail close to my home, and was surprised to find a little stream, nearby. Despite being in such an urban area, it was great to be so close to nature. Perhaps you can find stillness walking by a lake, or there is a building such as a church or temple which brings you stillness. Identify that place for you, and try to visit it frequently.
- Carve out the time, to do nothing, but what brings you peace. Try to choose something that isn’t related to technology. Get lost in a good book. Reunite with an old hobby, ie. Drawing, crafting, writing, etc.
- Adopt a healthy lifestyle. I believe there are so many different aspects to who we are as a person. I believe when wellness is a part of your life, it is easier to adopt healthy practices. For example, when you are taking care of your body, it is a natural progression to want to take care of your mind. Embrace health, and stillness and self care can easier follow.
- Choose You – a lot of times, we are busy not only with our tasks, but with a plethora of commitments to others. Reclaim some of your time, and dedicate it to you. It is okay to do absolutely nothing. Give yourself permission to pour into you. It has become cliché, but remember you can not pour from an empty cup.
Challenge
For the next week, what are some things you will do to encourage greater stillness. How can you make it a practice?
